I Travel

What is it about travelling that i really enjoy?

To be very frank, even i don't know.

Its not the architecture, the museums, the parks or for that matter any tourist place that attract me. I mean, they are all amazing to look at, and I do appreciate them all. But somehow, its not about them that i like going to places.

Its the people and only people. Every face in the crowd seems to be telling a story. Every person has something interesting to share. And my hunger to meet them takes me all around.

"Jaisalmer? yaar bahut duur hai. kahin paas ka plan bana na."
"Jaisalmer? hahahahahaha."
"Jaisalmer? abe 20 ghante ka rasta hai. kaise jayega? Aadha time to travel karega."
"Jaisalmer? hahahahahaha."
"Jaisalmer? bahut thand hogi be. raat mein mar legi."
"Jaisalmer? hahahahahaha."
"Jaisalmer? Tu pagal ho gaya hai."
"Jaisalmer? hahahahahaha."

Some of the responses i got when i asked people for the trip. And I am glad, none of them accompanied me. :).

Jaisalmer? Amazing place to be.
Jaisalmer? Amazing place to meet new people.
Jaisalmer? Amazing place for the foodies like me. You get food from all around the world.

What exactly did i do?

The people i met,
Karthik (works in the same bulding as me)
Shuk Sin Won
Park Chun Su
Abu Bhai
Ghazi Khan
Faqruddin
Uli Khan
Ali Mohammad
Ghazi Khan (the singer)
Deepak and 4 of his other friends. (I am sorry guys, i forgot your names)
Amit (security waala)
Ashish
Ashish's dad
Ashish's mom
Ashish's sister
Bhawani Singh Rathore
Raju
James
James's girlfriend
5 of Karthik's colleagues (The names i don't want to remember)
An English girl, I borrowed pen from.
A Group of three people in the restaurant,( the lady teaches in jaipur.)
And about 30-40 more.

And I can write a small collections of stories that i learnt from them. Every face has a story to tell, you just have to be ready to listen. And you get so enriched by the memories.

"I have three dreams for myself, Travel as much as i can, taste as many kinds of cuisines as i can and read as many books as i can." And i still stick by it.
And by the way, for the people who missed, 20 hours in a good company seems like 20 minutes and you are left wanting for more.

Signing off,
Aneyonghikhaseyo
(In Korean it means, be safe)

Good bye.

Joker

I am A joker. Yeah, I am. I make people laugh, and laugh they do. Sometimes at me, sometimes with me. I am the joker of the weirdest kind. I wear the mask all the time. They laugh, I laugh, the world laughs.

I am THE joker.

JOB

Have you ever experienced Deja vu? I did today. A friend of mine got a job. While I was being given the news, all the memories became alive of that day. The day i got my job.
The fun, the bounciness was so evident in the voice. There was some electric effect in the voice which also got transferred to me. Oh and suddenly i am happy again. Well i am happy always, but i now am even happier.

All the best to you, for the life ahead. Hope you get all that you ever deserved and a lot more.

Jaipur. Day two

What all we did?

Went to Maharani factory. bought to razayis.
Visited city palace.
Went up to Amber fort, bought gifts for friends. Wanted to ride an elephant, but couldnot do that. Had 2 glasses of butter-milk. Oh nothing's better than curd, when it comes to refreshing you.
Hawa Mahal. Ate at Kallu ka hotel. A very famous name in the old jaipur area.
Albert Hall. Took a horse ride. Sat a while. looked at the pigeons. and once even ran in them.
And den left for gurgaon.

For a third person, this is all we did. And the story would really be as boring and dumb as i just told you. But for us, it was totally different. Yes, we actually did go to these places. Amazing places.

The palaces, the forts. The people then really knew how to live in splendour.

A very interesting thing that i found in jaipur was, that every man there is a salesperson for jaipur. We asked someone on the street about the where-abouts of maharani factory, and he started on how and what can we find in that place, as soon as he was done giving the directions. Got to know about the 100g razayi, even before i had a chance to reach there. And i am sure, if i had talked to him a few more minutes, i would have gone and bought everything present there.
Finally when we went ahead a little more and got confused about the place again, we got a chance to talk to another sales-person. And this time he was an auto-rickshaw waala. Either these guys are all trained in salesman-ship, or they really are proud of the place. And i am very sure, its the latter that's true.

City palace is huge. You could smell the royalty, the courage and the valour in the very air that blows inside.

Amber fort was our next stop. The curvaceous roads that led to the fort were a delight to ride. Elephants with their mahouts, camels and horses with their riders were a common sight. I couldvisualise the life of ppl who lived in those forts and palaces and if anyone had ever lived like kings it had to be the maharajas and maharanis of jaipur. Outside the entrance a local was selling some items of rajasthani handicrafts. Beautiful and traditional jewellery, key chains, show pieces... they were all in abundance. We bought a few of them for our friends and entered the fort; by the time we returned back from Amber fort, we were dead twice over with the uphill walk (that we did 2 times, just for the fun of it). Two glasses of butter-milk and a bottle of soda for handique was all we needed to start once again and the journey resumed.

Our "paapi paet" had by then started growling and we had to go on the search of "Kallu ka hotel". After roaming around the Hawa mahal for some time, we finally found it hidden among the whole length and breadth of pink buildings. To Handique's disappointment and mine elation, it didn't look like a very sophisticated restaurant. It was just a dhaba. And that too very shabbily maintained.

Amber fort was a pleasure. Met some very interesting people. Exchanged my pea-nut masala for bananas with one of them. Did horse riding, although it was not much of it, as the guy would not allow me to take the reins in my hand. So, effectively i was just sitting on it, while he did all the walking. But I for once became a child again, and loved even that. The humpy, bumpy and very short ride that i had cost me 50 bucks, but i knew if he wud have asked 4 times over, i wud have been happy to pay.

And den we were off for Gurgaon.

Jaipur. Ha!! Jaipur, I will sure come to you again. Just wait and watch.

the week(ends) that passed II .... jaipur

A few excerpts from the conversations i had on 27-28 of october. They are arranged according to passing time. so try, and make some sense out of it.

the conversations presented hence forth, have been translated to english for the people reading this. The original conversation took place, in English, Hindi and sometimes just eyes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(On phone)
Me: mom, i am getting bored. Two of my flat mates are busy with their girlfriends, one is studying. other friends have to go to office.
Mum: oh!!! and you are left alone??
Me: maa, another call's coming, talk to you later.

[Its Handique]

Me: Hey handique.
Handique: Wanna goto Jaipur.

Yes.

Now?

Yes.

On bike?

Yes. give me sometime. i ll take a bath and get ready.

yeah sure.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The tour starts]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Handique: We'll make our first stop after 4. At the most rudimentary dhaba possible.
Me: sure. I was thinking the same.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: dude, look at the speed, i didn't know a 100cc bike could reach 90.
Handique: Give a little more acceleration.
Me: man, i have given it the max. it won't go any further

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

now, where to? Adi said something about a sindhicamp bus-stop, where we can find hotel rooms.

Then lets go there.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Find a bar. Find a bar. I need a drink.

Handique. chill, man. We'll do that.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Didn't find any chicken, as it was after 10 at night. ]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Handique (drunk): Where are we going Neeraj?
Me: I don't know, maybe the hotel.

Ask me the same question

Where are we going Handique?

Railway station!!!!!

Lets do it.

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[Day ends]

the week(ends) that passed

For a person like me, nothin could be more satisfying than the last few days i spent. Well with exception of a few things, i haven't experienced so far. But we are here to talk about my time spent.

It all started with me meeting Handique. Its not like we didn't know each other. We sure did. But we didn't know this interesting and similar nature of each other. He is everything like me, except a little more than what and who I am. He is older, crazier, more extrovert and he loves to talk and travel.

The weekend before last, found two things. One, I love the ambience of railway platforms. The chaos that exists, the hurrying people, the people, the noise, all enchant me. Spent an hour reading a comic book on the platform bench and then left the station. Second, I found another way of enjoying life in Delhi. Parties. Met a whole lot of people in the party which i accompanied Handique to. And the best part was, even he hardly knew anyone there, other than may be the hosts. But it was fun. With everyone around smoking and drinking and beautiful girls to look at. some of the most amazing people to talk to. Handique was totally spent, and still insisted on driving back.

Monday, office annual party. Objectively, it sucked. Booze got over even before the party could take off. Almost no arrangements. Dull crowd and stupid games. But if I want to enjoy, who can stop me. Had a ball of a time. Danced for hours on the disc floor. When with friends, it doesn't matter, where you are. And with friends like these, oh anything's perfect.

Week was hectic. Late nights, a lot of work and confusion. Couldnot manage to even check my orkut profile till i reached home, every night.

What did i do this weekend? Thats a long story, and the next blog covers it.

Found It

Finally i did sleep.

I am not an insomniac, but yeah, i somehow have not been able to sleep for long hours. Last night was good. i slept for 8 hours. 8 long hours, and its such beautiful day. I guess i can go without eating garlic today.

Think

Found this floating on the Net.

Rains

Rain rain go away... little johnny wants to play.
i don't know why would little johnny not want rain to be there. I mean don't kids love to get wet. I still do. And i do get wet most of the times.

But why suddenly rains? well, for once somehow rains have been following me for some days now (not literally). but wherever i see, i see a mention of it. A junior has his status message that says, "i love rain". Called mom, she was upset with too much of it, shez not able to go shopping and the pujas are around the corner. And many many more. But when i landed on a blog by Megha about how she loves rain, i thought, someone's tryingto tell me something. Maybe, just maybe, I need to write something about it, or not. But i decided to take the plunge and here i am writing about rains (or on the lack of it).

I was born in a family which loved rains. Sure i have been spanked for not wearing my raincoats even after having it in my bag all along. Sure i have been scolded for leaving my umbrella just outside my home, so that i dont have to carry it, and for walking and jumping in the knee deep puddles that are formed on the road. But, still i always believed my family loved rains. I could see my mom, my dad, me and my brother all sitting near the window watching the beauty of the nature's most amazing occurence. Looking at the playfield infront with temporary rivers formed on them. Children playing and running around while there parents looking at them angrily and waiting for them to get back for a flogging (i am sure others would have seen me doing the same a lot many times). And when its accompanied with gusts of wind, nothing could be dearer to watch. Clothes clinging to people as if asking them to for once give them shelter under their skin. Its beautiful.
Even in KGP, I have enjoyed the rain. We became children again, played football, rugby and what not. Went on a stroll amid heavy downpour. Stood on the corridors getting soaked in cold and heavy showers. We have even run into the open spaces collecting ice, after a hail-storm in our first year. There's nothing better than a hot cup of coffee while you are completely soaked. And we have been lucky enough to do all that.

So, when in Gurgaon I found that rain was a luxury, my soul cried.... ok that was going a little overboard but i sure missed it. I have almost savoured every drop that i could. But 10-12 showers in the whole rainy seaon? (got wet 6-7 times).

Three words.... I NEED RAIN. Send it along, plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Friend

Found this on someone's Shelfari notebook.
"
"Hi, Bookmarker..U have more friends than books in ur store.."
Yes, they are less expensive, more valuable and at times more interesting to read !"

Random Sundays

What started as a stupid and lame, good for nothing second day of the weekend, ended in a very amazing manner.
One thing is for sure, when they say, the night is the darkest just before dawn, they aren't kidding. This would apply to our own mood, that i didn't know.

Started my day in a very mundane manner. woke up late, started reading Naipaul, came online, found no-one to chat to. Called a few friends, did whatever i could while being in my flat. Nothing helped. By the noon time, had reached the height of boredom. Wanted to do something, something so I could feel, I am alive. Anything, but I needed to get out of my room. Was so bored, that i finally decided, that I would just go for a trip. If someone accompanies me, well and good. Otherwise, i ll leave alone. Actually thought about going somewhere out of station, and repeating my kgp-kolkata-kgp trip. Asked Ashu, whether he would like to come with me for a random car ride in delhi. He declined (can't say, i didn't expect that. If he had got ready, that would have been a surprise.) Called, Shukla and he was game.
All this happened within half an hour. Booked a taxi for 8 hrs, and me and Shukla were out in the open, with no specific plans in mind. But boy what a day. Dilli Haat -> CP -> Central Park -> Dinner -> India Gate -> Saket (to pick anuradha) -> India Gate -> Saket (Dropped her) -> Home. And i was delighted. i still am. [:)]

Lessons learnt.
1) Start moving, Ppl join automatically.
2) No plans, no expectations, full masti.
3) Car back seat also becomes the best place to be, when you are with friends.
4) Dilli Haat is good for food. Especially the thukpa. wow!!!
5) Taxi services charge you extra 100 bucks if you have booked the taxi for late night, ie, after 11 pm.

Now, I know what i am going to do next weekend. Its so easy. I ll book a taxi and go for another ride to delhi, or maybe somewhere out of station. Hey I could go for a biking trip to jaipur or some nearby place, I am sure Shukla will be more than happy to come.

But then again, why care.

Saturday ki saturday ko dekhenge. Aaj, kaam karte hain. [:D]

The Test

Found this very interesting test of your personality while stumbling around on the net. Do go thru this, nothing can come close to what this test tells about you.

http://homepage.bluewin.ch/Ysewijn/english_Barnum.htm

btw, i scored 66%.

Today

Things that have gone wrong all along today. Had to do one small task of copying and pasting a set of data from one file to a template.

mistakes i made.
1. Selected an older template. The issues that had been sorted out were still there.
2. didn't populate the hidden tabs.
Infact I did populate the hidden tabs, only it was a little late.

what it led to...
1. D had to re-work on the issue of the template.
2. D had to re-work on the issue of the template.
3. D had to re-work on the issue of the template.
.
.
.
xx. Couldnot correct the mistake pointed out by D in the hidden tabs, so when i did populate the tabs, the mistakes surfaced again.


God!!! what a day i had. and there's still half of it more to go.


just in: moved away from the blogger, without posting the blog. thankgod, blogger autosaves.

voila!!!

On a lazy saturday morning when you're lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one. Are you awake, or are you dreaming? You see people and things; some are familiar; some are strange. You talk, you feel, but you move without walking; you fly without wings. Your mind and you body exist, but on separate planes. Time stands still. For me, this is the feeling I have when ideas come.

Lynn Johnston.

Failed

"What dream would you dream, if you knew you couldnot fail?" Has anyone ever wondered, what value does failure have? Why is it there?

Why do we fall? Well, a very apt answer was given to Bruce by his father," So that we might learn to pick ourselves up". But is it the only reason it is there. I mean if it was totally absent, we would never have to pick ourselves up. Then why exactly do we fail? Why is failure there? To find the answer to this question, lets first try to find the answer to the question that started this blog. When Dr. Robert Schuller, asked this question, i am sure people would have suddenly gone silent. I mean, if we knew, everything is possible and that we would definitely not fail, would we really do anything?

Although for me it would be a huge task to do anything, and even if we do, what would we do? I mean will there be any meaning left, any purpose left? Life is not a bed of roses, and i believe thats the reason its fun. Who likes roses anyways?

Now, lets try to twist the question a lil bit. What if, we knew the next dream we see, would become a reality. After that everything would come back to normal. But we will for sure know, that we won't fail in whatever we take up next. What would you start? If you have an answer to this question or the earlier one, do leave a comment.

as of me: "You don't fail until... you stop trying".
does it matter?

Beyond?

Have you ever wondered, why we start crying when we are extremely happy and can't control our laughter; and when we go sad beyond help, we go "mad" and start laughing? I always, wondered what happens at the ends, the extremities, the pinnacles? Recently I listened to a song by Enigma, "I love you, I'll kill you." The part which caught my fancy the most were the following lines,

Look into the mirror of your soul
Love and hate are one in all
Sacrifice turns to revenge and believe me
You'll see the face who'll say:
I love you... I'll kill you...

Is it true? Can love when in its extremity, lose its identity and cause hate to grow. So, what really happens at the ends? Why is this confusion created? Why don't we act as is normally expected from a person? Is it a way to keep us away from something? Are we bound in some ways that even we don't understand? Can we let our passion grow only to a certain extent? People always said "passion knows no limits", and i wished it didn't. Chains in whatever form is suffocating. So, even if "He/She" says, not to go beyond, I would like to go there and see for myself, what lies there?

I think this is the "Maya" the philosophers have talked to us about for years. Beyond that, there is either everything, or nothing. Whatever that is, I want to experience it. To see beyond the boundaries, where love and hate, happiness and sadness, laughter and tears, everything meets and becomes one. To look beyond all of this. To reach where there is no confusion, where neither of these exist. To get freed from the chains.

800

What exactly is a humorous article supposed to do? Make you laugh, bring a smile on your face or atleast make you appreciate the wit of the writer. Ofcourse, it can also make you bang your head on the wall several times over, or want to kill the person who dared to pen such a thing. But, for the time being lets concentrate on “humorus” write-ups. The articles that belong to the first category.

But even with this, have you ever been on the other side of the fence. Have you ever tried to write a humor article. To be very frank, it doesnot feel very good, especially when it feels like an assignment that you have to complete and submit to your proffessors. Once you are done with it, and if the stuff is good, it makes you proud. But, before the baby is born the labour pains are definitely there, and do they hurt?

I was asked to give an article of “around” 800 words. Now, would somebody tell me, why 800? Why was it not, 500 or 1000? What is so special about 800? Is it that below that number the article seems too short for you to realize that it was humorous, and bigger than that its hard for you to comprehend. But what is so special about “800”. Whatever your reasons are, I found some of the reasons world wide.

Before entering into the 800-mahima, I would like to tell every single one of you reading this baby of mine, I considered a lot of “topics” on which I could write. Movies. why is the fourth version of die hard accompanied with a decimal number? Biggest question, when will bruce willis realize that he is old enough to stop firing guns and running after crooks? Why don’t people in Hollywood realize that fantastic four was a terribly made movie and mistakes are mistakes only till you don’t repeat it. (ofcourse I’ll go to watch it, but only for Jessica alba’s sake)? And please, the biggest joke of all, “topi waale baba” aka himesh reshammiya (who it seems has gone extra mile to cover his head. burka?? Give me a break) thinks he is an actor too. Now that I call a real versatile personality. Kishore da, there’s someone here to challenge your position. Then I thought about the biggest topic of all. How the “bedard zamana” of corporate world hire people for their creativity and then work only to suppress the instincts.

But somehow, somewhere, “800” stuck up there. Is this number special? Ofcourse, it is. Did you know it’s a “harshad number”? haven’t heard about it? Well don’t worry, even I hadn’t before today. Although the number is so not-rare that I really ponder, was there really a need to give this a name. afterall, the first 200 natural numbers has 59 of them. Now, definitely I am not going to explain this to you. Find it yourself on wikipedia, you good for nothing souls. But this gives me a thought, I think I will start an anti-harshad number. This series would contain, all the numbers that are not harshad. Well, I am sure wikipedia will be more than happy to give some web-space for this. And even if it doesn’t, Uncyclopedia is always there.

What else could be special about 800? Did you know,

- The original toll-free area code for telephone calls in North American Numbering Plan and some other countries.

- It’s the sum of four consecutive prime numbers (193+197+199+211)

- It’s the international direct dial code for toll-free international phone calls.

- In the ISO rating standard (aka ISO 5800), it’s a common film speed for photographic films

- It’s the flight number of TWA flight 800.

- The Atari 800 home computer

- A perfect score for an individual section of the SAT test or on one of the SAT subject tests.

For me, 800 means

- “Dabba Gaadi” (Maruti 800)

- My conveyance allowance

- My cab rent per month. (coincidence? I don’t think so)

- My last month’s phone bill. (ok, it was 805.4 /-, but they said around 800, right?)

Anyways, I think I should stop this ramblings now with this summary of the article. The whole point of my writing this article was to make you understand the seriousness of the issue I raised, and to make you realize how we can help the society by being a true Indian. So, if you think you are a true Indian do vote for TAJ MAHAL to make it one of the seven wonders of the world. To know more details, goto the net and search for the link, I don’t remember that now. Also, I think you would have already got hundreds of forwards telling you to do the same.

And yeah by the way, the word count is 818. I guess its “around” 800.

I am Back

Ok, OK. You dont have to applaud. I know you people missed me. Well, today i got my very own personal desk and a personal computer at my office. so till i get a comp of my own, i think i can still manage to make a few posts here.

btw, just to inform you. I am really liking it here. the crowd is young, work dynamic (as in, i dont have anything to do these days, except look at a few reports and understand what they had done earlier). hoping to get some good work, next week. Lets see what happens.

How is Gurgaon?? dude, get a life. are you going to keep asking me questions? chalo, since you have asked.. its good. though i really miss the trees. now dont ask any other such questions, i get sentimental.

girls? now, that is a valid and good question. well, what can i say, apples are red, but they are high up on the tree. will try to climb the tree, sometime later. abhi to i am "BUSY" with my "WORK".

now, signing off. see you with some good stuff, soon.

Chao.

Lessons learnt

Perspective one:

Be the first to leave, most of the ppl are thr to see you off.
Be the last to arrive, again all of them are thr to welcome you

Perspective two:

Be the last to leave, so that you can say goobye to most of the guys in a very personal manner.
Be the first to arrive, you will be able to watch everyone come and join.


Today i leave IIT and i am the last in the wing to do so. am i sad? don't know. am i happy? definitely not.

Goodbye IIT. Hope to see u soon.

DFW

Last night, i didn't know what to do. Dint feel like watching a movie/serial or even chatting. Lied to everyone that i'm feeling sleepy, i logged out and did nothing.

To pass time, i started walking up and down the wing, THE DFW. every single room had a lock on the door. Can't even try to express the gloom and loneliness that was there in the air. Its the mid of summer, and i could feel a chill running through my veins. Even the thought that we might not be able to meet again ,sit around and talk together, like we had done in last 3-4 years, sends a shiver down the spine.

But i guess, this is life. People come and people leave. Some leave a mark on you, and some go unnoticed. And what remains is a photo album, or a video or may be a few lines written by them for you. You see these and you realise what they really meant. You laugh at the good times spent, and smile at the small altercations that happened. But you never can move on. someone once told me that you make friends till you have entered the corporate world, after that thr are acquaintances. A person is very lucky if he can make a friend then, but its rare. I think even if i am not able to make any acquaintance, further in my life, i will still thank this life for the number and kind of friends it has given me till now.

Today, as i have just woken up, i secretly want someone to ask me, "bf?" in a chat window. I want someone to come to my room just to enter, sit, see me chatting or watching a movie and then leave without making a single remark. I want to go to a room adjacent to mine and complain about the kind of songs/movies/videos he likes. I want to shout from one end, asking some stupid question to a person, about something which even a dumb a$$^@!& can answer. I wish someone came to my room or i might have gone to his room and asked "sutta hai?" and most probably the answer from either side would be, "tck". I wish i could go and lay on one bed which is small for even one person with 4 others. Oh!!! I wish i could do this all, one more time.

But life has moved on. Missing you all guys. Missing you all.
Thankyou for bearing with me, and making me who i am.

The wing:
Ravish
Ding
Sumo
Gyanu
CKS
TJ
Rancho da
Adi
Shanku
Gupta
Kheti
Me
Chinkooo
Sinha
Hota.

Love you guys, always

huh!!!!

Chinki left the institute today.

void

how exactly is a person supposed to feel, when after a very trying and hectic schedule he suddenly has nothing to do? When he knows that finally he has reached the destination after a looooooong 5 year journey. Can someone tell me please??

coz i am feeling nothing. neither sadness nor elation. yesterday my project eval got over, and now i have to do nothing else for the "hard earned" degree from IIT. I mean, i had 2 straight nightouts, writing my thesis and preparing for the eval. and till the last moment i was anxious about the way i will react when its all over. but when it got over, i dint feel like shouting "freedom" and jumping with joy, which i naturally expected from me. Neither was i sad, that now i am jobless, atleast for a month. it was blank, a void.

so, if anyone knows how i should have felt, please tell me. i want to feel it.

Daydreams

Today while i was taking in my daily dose of quotes, i found a very interesting one.

All religions will pass, but this will remain: simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance. ~V.V.Rozanov

I wonder how many of us these days, actually daydream? With the kind of life we have been living we seldom get a chance to sit and relax. Life has become a race for most of us, (i say most of us, coz i happen to know ppl, who stand outside the race and sometimes even walk in the opposite direction). I remember as a kid, or for that matter, even a few years back i used to daydream a lot. The dreams i see have changed and evolved with time. But one thing that never changed is that it is a place where i am the happiest. Its not like i dont face challenges in my dreams. i do. but every dream ends in a happy ending and i end up smiling and feeling proud of myself.

When i was a child, i used to dream about having super-powers. I could fly, be invisible, have super-strength, could do gymnastics, have ultra sense of smell, sight etc etc. I would always have these and would use these to save people around me. I guess, i always wanted to be loved by one and all and den this felt to be the easiest way of getting attention. I mean who wouldn't look at you if you could fly at 100 miles an hr, or could break walls with one punch. The villains would fear me and others would love me.

Then the dreams took a little turn from the original. This time i still had superpower but i used this to save some damsel in distress, and everytime we would fall for each other and a romance would embark on. Around this very time whenever i would see a girl, i would dream about how i could have approached her and talked to her. In the end, for sure the girl got interested in me. (In reality i could hardly utter a single word infront of the opposite sex).

These days, i hardly get time to daydream, but if i do, its usually about the serious stuff. My career, my future, my life after IIT etc etc. I wish I could get back the innocence I had back then. I wish I could be a superman again, even though in my dreams. However hard i try I am not able to do that. I know that kid is still somewhere inside me, as if asking me to come find him.

Lets hope i do that. life is so simple and fun when seen from the eyes of a kid.

He does not need opium who has the gift of reverie. ~Anais Nin

Dying to live

A few days back, i encountered a thread in an orkut community. It asked, what would you do, if u had just six minutes to live? First of all, i would also like to ask the same question to all the ppl visiting this blog. then if u want to tell me the answer, you can post a comment, with your answer.

some of the responses that i found were, "calling friends and family", "eating something delicious", "robbing a bank", "kissing my gf/bf/spouse/wife/kids/mother/father/.../... goodbye" etc etc. The first thing that came to my mind was, fly. Yes, i want to fly. I have wanted to fly for a very very long time now. I wish i had wings and i could have flown all around as fast as i could. I have always wanted to feel the air rush by my face, when i flew. This is the reason why i have always loved heights. Anyways, more about this passion and desire, sometime later. My answer to the question was, "I would climb the highest possible height in 5 minutes, take a deep breath and jump from thr." Now, i think you people would have understood why i wanted to do this. I wanted to fly and this would bring me closest to flying, it would be my last minute anyway.

A friend of mine said, this is ridiculous, and that this somehow contradicts my views about optimism and life. He thinks this is suicide, and suicide can never be justified. But is it suicide?? Is there no difference between, "dying coz u dont want to live" and "dying coz u want to live the last moment"? I always felt, if i could fly just once i would have lived my life to the hilt. And i think this if i was suposed to die, was the last and nearest chance to feel that.

Now this is my view. I know some of you might not concur. But this is how i feel. Do write the answer to the question.

Orkut

If you are added in my friendlist, and if you are a frequent visitor to your orkut profile, you would have found that, my profile keeps changing. Now any one would want to know, why do i keep doing this? I never thought much on this topic, till i had a small discussion over this with KT. well, the discussion wasn't exactly about this, but my profiles got a mention in the discussion. I dont remember what the discussion actually was about, or when exactly this happened, but this made me realise two things.

To some extent this is the answer to the question many of you have asked me, and recently i have asked myself. Why do i change my profile so often?

The answer that popped up in my mind, basically gave me two reasons (for some ppl, there is a third reason too).
1> I get bored of myself.
2> This is the only place i can see where i am able to give a vent to my thoughts.

You get bored of yourself?? Isn't it weird??
Yeah, I think it could be. But then again, who defines weird? Just imagine, doing the same job over and over again, living in the same place for years, having the same routine for a long long time. Doesn't it sound boring?? For me, so is being me. Now, I dont consider myself to be a boring character. I think i am quite interesting, (hmmm............................... yeah, I am). But sometimes being interesting can be monotonous. I want to be boring, sometimes.

Oh, its getting too complicated. Let me start again. Well, I wish i could live a thousand lives. I wish i could be a new person everyday. I just wish i could wakeup one day, realising i am a writer, instead of a student, and another day i am a dancer or maybe an actor, or even more absurd, some other species instead of being human. Alas!!! if only this was possible. I could have seen this beautiful/ugly world through so many different eyes and have so many different perceptions. Well, since this is not possible, i try to make up for it thru my orkut profiles. I love being lost one day, to be found as a tiger the next day. If i could be the all powerful one day and the weakest one the other. well, this is what it is for me, Life.

Now the second reason. I tried my hand at blogging. failed miserably. I thought i could write poems, but no one would read it the second time (as if, the first was any less painful). I tried my hand at sketching and painting but found every other person was a better artist. Now, this i thought was different, and i could say whatever i want to, by being whatever i want to. Isn't it interesting?

I know many of you wont understand this. I dont expect you to. I know i am weird (though, i call it "being different"). But then again, whats the fun in being one of a million, when you can be one in a million?